How to Die Professionally II: Setting Your Internal Stage

Amitabha in Dewachen

After you have wrapped up all the loose ends that I talked about in my last blog post, it’s time to let this life go and focus on your practice and the dying process. As Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche puts it, “Unwillingness to let go of this life is the main cause of the pain in this bardo [the transitional state of dying].”

It’s also time to let go of partiality toward one group of living beings over another, if you haven’t already done that. Drop political resentments. Turn off the news or other inputs that spark anger and disconnectedness. Decide to feel fierce love and compassion for every single sentient being. Many people have trained like that for decades… it’s called the Way of the Bodhisattva. But, nowhere is it written that you can’t make a decision and change your mind right now. In your heart of hearts, you know that everyone needs to move beyond this kind of pettiness to reach spiritual maturity. Today’s the day.

Check inside and see if you have real faith in Buddhism in relation to the so-called afterlife. If you have more faith in an eternal God, Goddess, or Great Spirit… that they are going to reach out and save you somehow, be honest with yourself. Do you want to return to the house of worship of your youth? Buddhism sees that kind of eternalism as an extreme view that should be abandoned. But who cares what we think? With a deadline looming, you need to embrace what you truly believe.

Similarly, if you really feel there is nothingness after death, no continuity beyond this life, why not check out secular humanism? Again, this is an extreme view from a Buddhist perspective, but cognitive dissonance is going to create turmoil inside if you try to practice Buddhism.

How to Practice Buddhism as you Approach your Death

Okay. So, you have decided you do have faith in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha; the Buddhahood being your goal, the dharma being the means of getting there, and your sangha as your peer support along the path.

If you haven’t done much practice

Has meditation been difficult for you? There are a lot of reasons that could have been true. The most common way of working with that at the end of life is to focus on the Buddha Amitabha, the Buddha of Infinite Light and his pure land, Dewachen. Dewachen is like a blissful intermission between this life and the next, where your practice is much easier than when you had a human form. To aid in resting your mind there, you do the mind training of Amitabha. Say the Amitabha mantra everywhere you go. Imagine this red Buddha in his beautiful, soft, stress-free, domain in the western sky. If you are bed bound, you may want to put an image of Amitabha on the wall where your gaze falls. Say his mantra OM AMIDEVA HRIH constantly and prepare to leave to be with him, born on a fully opened lotus.

If you have engaged in Buddhist practice for a while already

Say to yourself, “Here you go old girl. Here you go old man. We’ve been training for this. We can do this.” Arouse a sense of adventure, like you are moving to a new country. Set your intention to stay calm, clear and present through the whole process. How long have you been able to rest like that in your mind’s nature so far? During your process of dying, your attention will withdraw from the world around you, which for some people will allow them to focus on their practice more than ever before.

Gather your Sangha

If you have a community of practitioners, pick the biggest extravert among them and ask him or her to contact sangha members and to come and practice with you while you are dying. Ask that person to be the coordinator who organizes them for group practices, sitting with you at the bedside, if they feel comfortable with it. Any practice is okay. Individuals can read for you from the Precious Treasury of Basic Space by Longchenpa before and after your passing.

Make Contact with Teachers and Clergy

If you have a local lama you are already connected with, ask them if they can come to your place right after you pass and perform the transference of consciousness, or whatever practice they feel is most appropriate. It’s a big ask, make a generous offering to them while you are still able.

Now the stage is set. Tomorrow we will review the stages of the dying process, and the practices that go along with them.

How to Die Professionally, Part I; the Outer Aspect of Setting the Stage

One of my main teachers, Lama Tharchin Rinpoche, used to stress with us that we should develop an aspiration to die professionally. People have ribbed me about this title, because it might read as if dying is a new career opportunity. But, I think you get the drift. Rinpoche wanted us to approach the dying process with mindfulness and grab the opportunity to blossom spiritually that in inherently present if we do.

If you are approaching death in the near future, you may find the next post more to the point. This one is primarily geared to people who have some time to work with. Don’t let it stress you by making you think the only proper way to do things takes longer than you have. The past is gone, and right now you have met with the sublime teachings of the Great Tibetan masters distilled down to their essence. Hardly anyone in their whole lives has a chance to meet with something so profound as the refined yet practical advice of the great lamas of the Tibetan tradition. Think like that. Keep a positive mind.

Now, if you are over sixty, a health care worker in a pandemic, someone in fragile health, someone who is going in and out of cancer remission: listen up.

Outer Aspects:

You need to simplify your living situation by clearing out excess stuff that you aren’t going to use again. I recommend Marie Kondo’s The Magic Art of Tidying Up. There is an audio version on audible. That will guide you through a swift process to rid of your baggage. You can’t take it with you. Recruit help from your family and loved ones. If you are alone in this world, like I am, consider apps that can bring you hourly workers to help, such as Task Rabbit.

If you can afford it, get with a lawyer and write a will, advanced directives, and possibly Power of Attorney for health and finance.

Talk to your loved ones about your wishes for your dying process. Especially if they are followers of another religion, you need to enlist their support for you need. For example, it is desirable to leave the body untouched for a period of time, ideally three days, after passing. This is called Lying in State in western parlance. But, also, if you are dying or old and you are a practitioner who has fully accepted impermanence, it is usually better to take a hospice or comfort care approach to the process and sign Do Not Resuscitate orders. You really don’t want paramedics doing CPR and rushing you to the hospital when you trying to concentrate on your practice. I’m a nurse, trust me on that. It’s terrible.

Put it all in writing. I recommend the TLC Manual from the Transitional Life Care group to walk you through everything that needs doing in an easy-to-follow way.

Tomorrow we will talk about the inner aspects of setting the stage for dying professionally.

The Power of Aspiration

I have had the tremendous good fortune to study with several amazing lamas in my life. I feel these opportunities came because I made aspirations, wishes, in this life that I would be able to receive from their teachings even though they lived very far away or there were other obstacles that made it seem impossible. Then, it came to be.

There is a genera of prayers for future lifetimes, in the Tibetan traditions. They expressed formalized wishes that we will accomplish the path very quickly, and that we will be born into a situation where we can meet with genuine Dharma in future lives. These are recited in the daily liturgies. Why? Can we really have control over such things?

On a brain science level, there is evidence that setting a clear intention to have breakthroughs in our deep understanding, and big spiritual shifts, does prime the brain for that kind of experience. You can read Andrew Newberg and Mark Waldman’s book, How Enlightenment Changes the Brain for more about that. The book defines enlightenment much more loosely than we Buddhists do, but is still interesting.

As far as future lives go, Jim Matlock’s thorough review of the large number of studies that have been done on children who remember past lives, Signs of Reincarnation, indicates that ordinary people’s intention does have an impact on their rebirth. In many traditional cultures throughout the world, kids are frequently reborn in their same families, when this is what is expected in their culture. Modern Western people from cultures where familial rebirth is not expected, interestingly, sometimes are reborn in far-flung places. Until our current pandemic, the world seemed quite small and accessible to us.

My message is that it will pay off to make heartfelt positive aspirations for our spiritual development and training in this life and for future lives. They really work!

Is Healing Through Prayer, Sending Energy, or Ritual Really Possible? A Buddhist Perspective Part 1

Many of my generation who converted to Buddhism had pre-existing New Age beliefs about all kinds of things that we assumed would be present in Buddhism. Two examples are auras and energy healing. In new age thought, the human body is encased in an energy body that extends some distance outside the skin and can be seen (faintly) when someone stands in front of a white background and sensed with the hands.

There were/are many systems of “energy healing” that can be done by gestures and movements of another person’s hands over this field. Akin to faith healing, but usually tied only to a person’s own (often doctrineless) spiritual beliefs not to faith in God or organized religion.

Often, the same energy healing practitioners believe they can send this healing energy to someone remotely.

My mother, Rev. Phoebe Skinner, was a long time practitioner of the in-person variety of energy healing. In the seventies and eighties, perhaps into the early nineties, Mom went to the top floor of an acupuncture Clinic in Washington, D.C. weekly and exchanged energy healing with whomever showed up. Side note: this was the clinic run by an acupuncturist made famous by the Band Steely Dan; the late Dr. Wu. Dr. Wu did not attend “The Healers” group upstairs, but he was kind enough to make the space available to them.

I went there at least once. The healings felt nurturing, and you could sense the hands of those middle-aged women sweeping something around you while rarely touching the body.

So, when Tibetan lamas first came to the U.S., many of the people who came to see them had complete faith in this kind of remote and in-person healing, auras, and the energy body.

Tomorrow, let’s look at the current state of the medical research into the remote form of energetic healing modalities and beliefs. After that we can talk about Buddhist beliefs.

Ji Hyang Padma’s forthcoming book on a related topic.

The Human Bridge to Tibetan Buddhism

As one of the people who’s life has been transformed by the teachings of Tibetan lamas, I have to acknowledge one thing that is rarely spoken of. Without competent translators from Tibetan to English, I wouldn’t have experienced that transformation.

I often refer to myself as a translator fan-girl. Language acquisition is not my forte. So I dote on translators every chance I get like I’m a trekkie at a Start Trek convention. I can read a little Tibetan now, from shear repetition, but I am still as dependent as a little baby on translators for understanding philosophical works.

They are an unusual bunch of people who almost invariably ended up going to Nepal or India to live at some point and learned to translate at the urging of their Tibetan spiritual mentor. Some learned because they wanted to do a traditional three year retreat in the 70’s before there were written translations of the core practice texts of their traditions, much less a friendly neighborhood oral translator to be available whenever the retreatants needed the next set of teachings in the sequential retreat process. Whomever understood the most oral Tibetan in the group was an instant translator by default.

One woman I know learned Tibetan because it was a prerequisite to Tibetan medical school, but when she gained fluency, it became apparent they were never going to let a western woman in the program (this was a long time ago). Another man demanded that his parents take him to a Tibetan monastery and leave him there as a child… and they did. Each translator has a story to tell, and I love listening to them.

Because I love both good English-language writing and certain kinds of Tibetan Buddhist philosophy, I love listening to translators discuss how they make the difficult choices of translation terms and what their process is like. Tonight I listened to this hour-long lecture to aspiring translators by Ruth Sonam. She was the translator for an exalted Gelugpa Geshe (Dharma Scholar) at the Library of Tibetan Works and archives in Dharamshala India for decades. She co-authored ten books with him while he was alive, and one book of teachings posthumously. Their translation of Aryadeva’s middle way philosophy took fifteen years and eleven word-by-word run-throughs with her Geshe, followed by work with an editor at the late great Snow Lion Publications office in the States. to complete. She worked as a volunteer, preparing extensively for every class he would teach at the Library.

If you are interested in Tibetan Buddhism, you might be enriched by listening to her 2015 talk on YouTube. But definitely take every translator you meet out to lunch and talk with them about their work.

Seeing the Teacher Seeing You Seeing the Teacher

Seeing yourself as divine, you are divinity in every cell. There is nothing substandard there. There is only light, no shadows. It is like we are always front-facing, whatever angle you are seen from. There is no shadow. That is how a truly awakened being sees you.

For those, like myself, on the path, the practice is to view everything as pure. In order to accomplish this, we choose an unquestionably qualified guru, ignoring titles and fame and carefully combing through his background for extensive Dharma education and history of, at the very minimum, a three year retreat, or its equivalent retreat accomplishment in segments. Your future guru needs to be all-front, the same person in public and private, naturally exemplifying evenness and compassion with the way they move their body, the way they talk—their mind 100% Buddha. Such a person always sees the divinity in you. Make sure they show that at all times, on rainy days as well as when the sun is out. Avoid putative gurus who make you feel unqualified or bad about yourself. Once you have settled on such a person you will use them as your first object to view purely, as fully awakened.

Brain science confirms what the Ancients knew: that we mentally mirror those people we interact with, that we pay attention to. You can see this in your everyday life; when you are speaking with someone intensely you smile when they smile, you yawn when they yawn. Right? Scientist also have observed on SPECT and fMRI scans that the areas that are lit up with activity in your conversation partner’s brain are lit up in your brain—every part of you is aligning with them.

There is a lot more to realization than this jelly-like brain, but it is helpful validation that we cannot resist being changed by who we direct our attention to. If you want to follow this path, direct your mind not only to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, but to the flesh and blood guide who is your personal Buddha, your personal Guru Rinpoche. After taking great care selecting this person, worthy of trust and great respect, gradually soften your resistance to them and let the sun of their wisdom and compassion illuminate you like the moon.

Nyingma Buoyant Positivity

You have a center of knowingness in the middle of your chest, a hidden capacity to become familiar with a truth that our ordinary senses of seeing, smelling, hearing, touching, tasting (and the conceptual mind that names them as this or that) cannot perceive. In the system of the Ancients, this is designated by words such as Kuntuzangpo, which literally means all-good, ever-excellent, total-goodness, or always-positive.

This underlying outlook, that the human body seriously contains divinity, sets the Nyingma School of Tibetan Buddhism apart as perhaps the most optimistic of all Buddhist traditions.

In early Buddhism, something known as “luminous mind” appears in the Anguttara Sutra. But, it was the Mahayanists who expanded that to the ideal of a metaphorical seed of awakening within each sentient being, called Tathagatagarbha; a hidden embryonic potential for Buddhahood, present in all sentient beings. You can nurture this capacity through purification practices and the accumulation of merit and wisdom over many lifetimes. It is compared to honey protected by bees, kernels enclosed by their husks, a gold nugget in excrement, a hidden treasure beneath the house, and the like.

Each of the Tibetan schools has positivistic tantric practice paths designed to accelerate this process by relying on sadhana practice that builds self-conception as a translucent Buddha made of light, paired with the mantra of the deity to turbocharge awakening. Yogins in long term retreat also harness the body’s circulating energy and the energy channels to foment realization.

But, as far as I know, none are as optimistic about your potential for swift enlightenment via anatomy of awakening as the Ancients. This is talked about as though you are deity/Buddha…  but this fact is hidden by a temporary veil, like a flimsy film that could slip off at any moment. The ‘All good’ inherent Buddha within, whether male, female, or both is depicted as naked—naturally how you are in your birthday suit.

Stay tuned tomorrow for how this manifests in your encounters with awakened teachers from the Nyingma tradition.

In Honor of Guru Rinpoche’s Birthday

On this tenth day of the lunar month, we honor Guru Rinpoche, the second Buddha who overcame many obstacles to establish Buddhism securely in Tibet. Beautiful paintings like this one I found on a friend’s Facebook page, depict Guru Rinpoche with rich symbolism reflecting the perfect embodiment of wisdom awareness; our outer sublime teachers, and our hidden inner wisdom.

Never separate from Guru Rinpoche is Yeshe Tsogyal, his best student, who had perfect recall of everything he taught. Symbolically, whether depicted as a magical staff held in the crook of his left arm, or as a voluptuous maiden embracing Guru Rinpoche… she represents emptiness. Guru Rinpoche represents compassion.

On this summer day, Guru Rinpoche is said to have been born on a lotus in the center of Lake Danakosha in a silk road Kingdom known as Oddiyana. In observance of this, I am challenging myself to revive this blog which has been inactive for some time and write one post a day for thirty days. In them, I hope to broadcast the core messages of the living practice tradition of the Ancients.

Almost Impossible

 

One time, many years ago, I was looking for something to read in an airport bookstore. I picked up a book on leadership to quell the boredom on the long flight ahead of me. At the time, I was the director of a nursing home, a very stressful role.

One of the main points of leadership according to the leadership guru, was that a goal so high that it seems almost impossible will inspire people much more than aiming low.

I’m thinking about that now, as. I do notice as a Buddhist teacher that the axiom of high goals being more powerful is holding true. For example, this year I experimented with offering Buddhist group practices four or five times a month at my house. Once a month I offered an opportunity for people who had been practicing Nyingma Buddhism with our amazing lamas to come learn how to the shrine attendant for a three-hour ceremonial feast. I learned how to do this in a three-year group retreat. It is incredibly complicated and involves learning Tibetan vocabulary, memorizing the order and meaning of an opera-length text, moving gracefully in specific ways, great time pressure, and so on.

On the other days of the month, I offered an easy and beautiful one hour practice with no ritual, where people just needed to come.

You guessed it. The complicated program which adds stress and pressure to people’s participation is the one that is growing and thriving, and almost no one comes to the easy stuff.

Then, of course, we think about the vast motivation of the Bodhisattva, who vows to attain enlightenment and then return to a life of suffering in cyclic existence to guide all sentient beings (all!) to enlightenment–“emptying the pit of samsara”—as they say.  You seemingly can’t get more pie-in-the-sky than that.

am poised to launch Mayum Mountain, an organization dedicated to bringing the practice and insights of Tibetan Buddhism into Western life, as a non-profit in the coming months. Should I keep it small, just at a level to make it possible to take checks when people come to the house for programs? Or, should I create a legacy program that involves a lot of people doing big things?

I have a feeling I know which one would thrive.

What do we do with these people?

How to Transmit Genuine Dharma in the West

When a Himalayan lama moves to the West, and begins to gain followers, he or she is faced with many decisions about how to do things in a different society from which they were raised and trained.

Today, I’ve been contemplating the various ways I’ve seen Tibetan and Bhutanese lamas who live in Western countries structure things at their centers.  I’m not posting this to make a political statement. Quite the opposite, I am posting this out of respect for the burden that lamas in positions of authority carry in ensuring Dharma in the West does not lose its authenticity or it’s power to transform the minds of disciples, now and in future generations.

Decisions needed

Practice in general:

  • Unelaborate, essentialized, practices are best for western students vs.
  • Long sadhanas and elaborate ceremonies and drupchens at a center are best for western students.

Recitations:

  • Practice sadhana in Western languages vs.
  • Practice in Tibetan only

Ritual and Art:

  • Teach ritual art to Western students vs.
  • Abandon or minimize ritual

Leadership:

  • Empower westerners as leaders and teachers vs.
  • Import leadership from Asia

The Practice Foundation:

  • Require the ngondro (foundational) of the tradition of new students vs.
  • Focus on other practices for new students

Regard for Great Masters:

  • A great master’s conduct should not be criticized or subject to local laws and customs.  vs.
  • Great masters should adapt their conduct to match the society in which they are teaching.

Technical Dharma Language:

  • Using Sanskrit terms is better vs.
  • Using Tibetan equivalent terms is better

Monasticism:

  • Encourage monasticism for western disciples vs.
  • Discourage monasticism

Scholasticism:

  • Encourage and teach the main scholastic doctrinal texts of the tradition vs.
  • Focus on encouraging practice

Translation:

  • Pay oral translators vs.
  • Rely on volunteer translators

Three-year Retreat:

  • Encourage three-year retreat for western disciples vs.
  • Encourage integrating practice and working life. vs.
  • Adapt three-year retreat program to be accomplished over a longer period of time in working life.

Vajrayana:

  • Require students have a thorough grounding in Mahayana Buddhism before receiving empowerment vs.
  • Open empowerments for all. Start with Vajrayana practice or ngondro.

Ceremonies:

  • Delegate enactment of ceremonies to competent Westerners vs.
  • Always have Himalayan lamas leading ceremonies.

Spiritual leadership:

  • Carry on patrilineal Himalayan family transmission of Dharma lineage authority vs.
  • Empower the daughters of Himalayan Rinpoche’s equally with the sons; as future lamas. vs.
  • Meritocracy; regarding all students as potential leaders based on ability, dedication, etc. vs.
  • Continue the tulku system and train future spiritual leaders in monasteries in Asia.

Closed Versus Open Contact with the Vajra Master

  • Surround the lama with a small circle of close disciples who serve as gatekeepers, vs.
  • Open-door policy.

Language and Culture training for Himalayan Lamas living abroad:

  • Himalayan lamas should work hard to learn the language in the country in which they teach and make attempts to understand the local culture, vs.
  • Himalayan lamas shouldn’t waste their time this.

What would you do if you had trained for your entire life in a traditional form of Tibetan Buddhism with great devotion, and found yourself dropped into a completely different society?